It takes something big inside of you to change. Am I going to let my bi polar master me? or am I going to master it? I'm going to master it. Things have being going good with God. I still feel like he isnt there, like he is far away, but a good few of my friends reminded me that I should meditate on the verses that say he does. I've been reading psalm 103, and 27 and hebrews 13:5 everytime i hit a depressive slope. afterall God did save me from drowning back in 2005, and what did the israelites do in times of hardship? They recalled the exodus, and what God had done. I am reminding myself that God has been there, and he is there, and he will be there. I had to a lot of reconciliation. I e-mailed someone I had hurt a whole lot. I dont know if they will ever talk to me, but I had to try and do something

And another thing
A lot of people are getting mad at charismatic christians
Even if it is wrong, it is making us question ourselves and wonder do we really have enough faith? Do we take our role seriously as children of God? Do we have the courage to ask God? He said we could, but we don't most of the time.